“You’re Not a Player Anymore”—The Hard Truth About Becoming a Real Coach
Most former athletes struggle when they become coaches—not because they don’t know the game, but because they don’t know how to stop competing. In this blog, Coach Leo Young shares the blunt advice his mentor Jeff Hogan gave him early in his coaching career: “You’re not a player anymore.” It was a wake-up call that forced him to shift from proving himself to leading others. If you’ve ever coached with a chip on your shoulder or struggled to leave your playing days behind, this blog explains why the transition to coaching is more than tactical—it’s emotional, personal, and often humbling.
FROM TRAINING TO TRIUMPH - WHAT MILITARY AND SPORTS TEACH ABOUT LEADING, WINNING, AND GROWING IN LIFE
Coach Leo Young
9/27/20252 min read
The Trap of Competing With the Players
Early in his coaching career, Leo Young was doing what a lot of former athletes do—trying to prove he still had it.
He’d take BP. He’d get into drills. He’d measure himself against his players.
That competitive fire wasn’t gone. But it was being directed the wrong way.
“Coach Hogan pulled me aside and said:
‘You’re not a player anymore. You’ve got to stop competing with the athletes.’”
It was the kind of gut-check only a real mentor can give—and the kind that most new coaches need but rarely hear.
What was the moment you knew you had to stop competing and start leading? Drop your story in the comments on the full video.
From Proving to Guiding: The Shift That Changes Everything
Great coaching doesn’t come from showing what you can do.
It comes from helping others reach what they can do.
“He told me to cut that crap out. Stop taking BP. Start developing your leadership.”
This was about identity. About humility. About transitioning from “the guy” to the one who builds the next guy.
And like most hard truths in coaching, it came with a jab:
“You weren’t that good anyway,” Hogan said.
Only he could say it—and make you laugh and listen.
Why So Many Good Athletes Fail as Coaches
Here’s the tough truth: a lot of former athletes don’t become great coaches. Why?
They still want the spotlight
They confuse skill with leadership
They never learn how to develop presence without performance
They compete with their players instead of serving them. And eventually, that erodes trust.
Coaching isn’t about what you can do.
It’s about what you can unlock in someone else.
The Lesson Every Coach Needs to Learn
This is the moment that separates the great from the average:
Stop proving. Start guiding.
Let go of your old identity. Step into your new one.
Understand that coaching is not a fallback. It’s a higher calling.
That’s what Coach Hogan taught. And that’s why his message still sticks.
How Sore to Soaring Helps Coaches Lead With Presence
At Sore to Soaring, we teach coaches how to make this exact transition—from performance-based identity to leadership-based impact.
Our model includes:
Leadership development tools for former athletes
Communication systems that build trust without ego
Role clarity training for coaches struggling with identity shift
Mentorship strategies that make presence the priority
Because coaching isn’t about staying relevant.
It’s about becoming essential—to the next generation.
🌍 Learn more about how we develop coaches and leaders:
👉 https://www.soretosoaring.org
Disclaimer:
The content shared is for informational purposes only. This is not a judgment of any person or program mentioned. All names and events are discussed from personal memory and are not meant to accuse or endorse. The goal is to share insight from lived experience.
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